S2 E12 The Drop In
by JDPostEpisodeChallenge
Summary: Written by Supernatural Mondler


Objectively, Josh knew she was doing it to get a rise out of him.

Of course she was, pissing him off was among her favorite activities and it was admittedly easy to do some days, which never seemed to dampen her enjoyment of it. In fact, the easier he made it, the _more_ she seemed to enjoy it.

Josh didn't really think today was one of those days. In fact, he thought he had done an admirable job of letting her comments roll off him. After all, it wasn't like she was the only one swooning over the return of Lord John Marbury, it would probably seem more suspicious if she _didn't_ comment—repeatedly, repeatedly—on the allure of his royal heritage, on his natural charisma, on his…whatever good looks all the women he worked with seemed to think the new ambassador had.

Personally, Josh was mostly indifferent towards the man. He was obnoxious, and Leo hated him, and when in doubt Josh tended to agree with Leo under all circumstances, but he usually seemed pretty good at what he did, the President trusted him, and even Leo couldn't usually fault his savvy for international affairs.

Still, that didn't mean he wanted to hear _Donna_ talk about how amazing he was, and he knew that she knew that, so the only explanation was that she was doing it on purpose to irritate him, and Josh really wasn't in the mood for that. All things considered, he had had a pretty easy day, mostly acting as Leo's sounding board about the missile shield, but he was having what his therapist referred to as a "bad day".

He wasn't sure that anything triggered it, but he felt constantly on-edge, similar to how he had felt in the weeks before Christmas, now that he was self-aware enough to recognize it. Standing with his back against the wall only helped so much, and it wasn't like he could randomly excuse himself from a conversation to go sit in his office. Everyone had been very understanding of his situation with the PTSD, but Josh really couldn't expect them to put everything on hold any time he felt just a little bit off.

He was managing it just fine, he didn't feel like he was going to start spiraling—and even if he did, he had a therapist, he had coping techniques, he wouldn't get that bad again—and he would probably wake up tomorrow feeling perfectly normal, but having Donna constantly in his face about Marbury was just an added stressor he really didn't need today.

He did his best to ignore her while they were at work. He didn't even see her for most of the evening; she was probably off enjoying the reception while he stayed with Leo in his office and the Oval Office, which was just fine with him. He wasn't sure he could take too much more of her…whatever mood she was in.

Contrary to what she had said, Josh didn't feel threatened by the British man. He really didn't, at least, no more so than by any other guy she took an interest in, fabricated or otherwise. Josh knew it was a bit unreasonable, she really didn't mean anything by it, but he still felt a bit hurt that she would be so brazen about her fascination around him. Because all the girls went crazy for Lord John Marbury, so it really wasn't hard to imagine that there was a part of Donna that wasn't kidding at all, and that made Josh feel about as crap as he had ever felt, just to add on to his already crappy mood.

Leo, the President, and Lord Marbury had finally gone to join the reception, which was probably starting to wind down, but Josh begged off and went back to his office instead. Leo had given him a glance that told him the other man had caught on to his demeanor and would no doubt be checking in with him tomorrow. For now, Josh really just wanted to go home.

Donna wasn't at her desk when he got back, so he went straight into his office and shut the door behind himself and pressed his back against the wall for what felt like the millionth time that day. He exhaled deeply and closed his eyes, attempting to clear his mind as much as he ever could. He and Donna had planned on going home together, and he had driven her to work that morning, so he really should wait for her, but he was so tempted to just leave her a note and some cash for a taxi and head out. He was tired.

Suddenly his office door crashed open with a bang, thankfully not hitting the wall he was leaning against, but it did clip his arm.

" _Ow_ ," he protested, bringing a hand up to rub at where the door made impact.

"Sorry," Donna responded, only sounding a little bit sorry. She probably figured that since she didn't hit him in the face again it was okay. Whatever. "I saw Leo and the President come down but you weren't with them," she continued. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Yeah, but you can stay if you want," Josh offered. "I was just gonna leave you some money for a cab if you wanted to hang around at the party longer. I know you're having a good time socializing and…stuff."

"Well that's thoughtful of you," Donna remarked, and Josh could easily detect the sarcasm in her tone. "But if it's all the same I think I'd rather spend time with you."

"Suit yourself," Josh tried to sound casual, but he felt the tightness in his chest loosen ever so slightly at her words.

She softly touched his hand, causing him to look up at her. "Everything okay?" she asked, serious.

"Yeah, fine." Josh brushed her off, then added, "later," when she gave him a look that indicated how terrible he was at lying to her.

She didn't protest any further as they put on their coats and made their way outside to Josh's car. Donna kept up most of the conversation, describing to him everyone she had encountered at the reception, and Josh had to keep from physically cringing every time she so much as mentioned Marbury's name. He was slightly relieved to find that she hadn't just glued herself to the British ambassador's side all night and had mingled with other guests and White House employees, but he still struggled to get past her fascination with the man. Now, it didn't even seem like she was doing it to bother him; it seemed like actual interest, which in Josh's mind was even worse.

They finally made it back to Josh's Georgetown apartment and Donna quieted down as they got out of the car and Josh started to lead her inside. She had been spending more and more nights here recently, whether it was because they were actually reaching that point in their relationship, or because recent events had made her hesitant to leave him alone any more often than necessary, Josh didn't know, but he also wasn't one to complain.

They had been together a little less than a year at this point, only a few short weeks prior to the shooting had they finally taken the leap they had been dancing around since they had first met, and what a test their first year had been so far. Josh couldn't imagine how scared she must have been when she arrived at the hospital that night, and she hadn't even been able to tell anyone why. Just when he finally thought he had recovered physically, what he later found out was PTSD had begun to set in, which he knew made him even more difficult to be around, especially before his diagnosis and subsequent therapy sessions.

She was still there, though, somehow, and on most days that was enough to assuage Josh's insecurities and fears that she would get sick of him and leave for good. Today wasn't most days, though, today was a bad day, and that meant that hearing her talk about charming British diplomats wasn't something he could just shake off as though it was nothing.

Donna's arms were around him the moment the door shut behind them, and Josh buried his face in her hair, breathing her in.

"Are you ready to talk now?" she asked softly, hands gently tracing up and down his back. He shrugged and nodded, but made no move to leave her embrace. He craved her contact constantly, but it wasn't something he had the luxury of indulging during the day.

They were mostly an open secret amongst the other West Wing staffers; they had told Leo shortly into Josh's recovery, when the man offered to hire someone to stay with Josh when he left the hospital. Donna had let him know that she planned on keeping an eye on Josh, and Josh explained to him why. Leo had rolled his eyes but had mostly taken the news in stride. They had also let CJ know outright—lest they be subject to the wrath she would no doubt dish out if she had to hear such news second-hand—but other than that, they had mostly let their secret travel on its own. CJ told Toby and Sam shortly after, and maybe Bonnie or Ginger had overheard the conversation, and once the news made its way back to Margaret, well, it was anyone's guess who she had told. Such was life in the West Wing.

Not that they minded, it really helped that they didn't have to be constantly over-aware of themselves at work. But for the most part, they tried to remain professional. Reporters could be around at any moment, as well as the hundreds of other people coming in and out of the office every day, and Leo hadn't even had to tell them that this wasn't something to make public knowledge at this point.

"Was just a bad day, is all," Josh mumbled against her shoulder. "Nothing to worry about." It was a half-truth, but Josh had no doubt that she would extract the rest of it from before they went to bed. Which in Josh's case could quite literally be any second now, as he noticed just how tired he was.

"Oh, Josh," Donna tightened her hold on him. "Why didn't you say something?"

"It was fine, I was handling it, I was just ready to be done with the day," he replied.

Donna pulled back so she could see his face, and ran a hand through his hair. "Is there anything I can do?" she asked, brow furrowed in concern. Josh had expected to grow quickly annoyed with her constant worrying, which had only multiplied after the Christmas fiasco, but he never felt smothered by her, only cared for and loved, which was really all he needed most of the time.

"Just staying here tonight would be a good start," he replied, cupping her face in both his hands and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Well, good thing I don't have anywhere else to go," she teased, and Josh smiled back at her, though he could tell it didn't quite reach his eyes. Her comment had only served as a reminder of just how many other places she _could_ be right now, and the sinking feeling he had experienced at every mention of Lord John Marbury all day came back, and Josh knew he was doing an awful job at masking his discomfort.

"Yeah," he sighed absently, ignoring the look of concern she gave him as he stepped away. "I'm gonna get ready for bed."

"Josh?" she questioned again, following him to his bedroom. He had already started unbuttoning his shirt, focusing intently on the task at hand. Donna placed her hands over his and tugged his shirt off his shoulders. She sat down on the bed and patted the space next to her. He gave in quickly and did as she requested. "What's up?"

"I'm just, I don't know, weird today," he responded. "Ignore me."

"Yeah, you wish," she snorted, taking his hand. "Did something happen today to upset you?"

"Donna…"

"Did someone say something? Did…oh Josh," she sighed, and Josh flopped backwards on the bed to avoid meeting her eyes. She rolled over so that she was half-lying on top of him, face hovering over his, and ran a hand down his cheek. "Was I upsetting you? When I kept talking about Lord Marbury?"

"It's fine, I was dealing with it," Josh dismissed.

"No, it's not fine," she countered. "Josh, honey, look at me please?" Josh turned his head away and squeezed his eyes shut. He was mostly trying to lighten the mood by acting childishly, or at least delay the serious conversation that was about to take place. " _Josh_ ," she huffed, turning his head with a firm hand. He grinned up at her innocently, but she didn't take the bait. "Why didn't you tell me I was upsetting you?"

"Because I was overreacting and I knew it," Josh responded, pulling her down so she was resting completely on top of him. "I knew it was just harmless teasing, and it's not your job to read my mind."

"Which would be why you're supposed to _tell_ me," Donna emphasized. "God, Josh, you _tell_ me when I'm doing something that hurts you! Even if you think you're being silly, even if it's just because you're having a bad day, you tell me, and I stop, you understand? I never want to do anything to make your life harder."

"Donna…"

"Okay, I enjoy making your life harder," she admitted. "But I never want to do anything to make your healing harder, how about that?"

"You really aren't," Josh protested. "Seriously Donna, you're the last person who should be worried about making anything harder for me. You do so much for me already. I don't want you to feel like you constantly have to watch what you say or do, we just got past that!" He sighed. "I'm mostly just frustrated with myself that stupid things like this are actually bothering me."

"What, stupid things like your girlfriend flirting with another guy?"

"You weren't exactly flirting."

"Oh please Josh," he could practically hear her rolling her eyes, even though he couldn't see her face. "You and I both know that's what I was doing. And I was doing it to bother you, and I apologize that I went too far."

"Y'know, in fairness it would have been a bit weird if you _hadn't_ talked about him all day," Josh reminded her. He wasn't sure why all of a sudden he was so determined to make sure she didn't feel bad, even though Josh could admit, to himself, at least, that she had been hurting him. His therapist could probably spend an hour on that alone, but he guessed it had something to do with his own guilt. He was just hardwired to keep Donna happy, no matter what. "Everyone else was, you wouldn't want to make anyone suspicious."

"Right, and me spending my lunch break last Friday in your office with the door closed so we could make out wasn't suspicious," she scoffed. "We're not nearly as much of a secret as you pretend to believe."

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Josh, you don't have to keep defending me to me, okay?" she stopped him. "I didn't have to try to make you jealous today, and I definitely didn't have to do it when it was just us, and I apologize that I upset you. Now, in the future, I really need you to tell me when something I do upsets you like that, and we can work together to find a way around it. Deal?"

Josh smiled. "Yeah. 'Cause god knows you're never shy about letting me know when I'm bothering you," he teased.

"Exactly," Donna lifted her head and smiled back at him before turning serious again. "Please? Can you promise me that?"

"I can't promise," Josh responded honestly. "But I could try? I think…as long as you come home with me at the end of the day, there's nothing I can't get past. Is that fair?"

"For now," Donna agreed, kissing him on the cheek. "And for the record, I _always_ want to come home with you at the end of the day. Now, are you going to let me get ready for bed or where you going to keep me hostage in my work clothes all night?"

"Well…" Josh pretended to think.

" _Josh!_ " Josh laughed and allowed her to stand. She disappeared into his small walk-in closet and he stood up, too, to finish changing into the sweats he had left on his bed that morning. She emerged a few minutes later wearing a pair of Josh's boxers and a Harvard t-shirt. She kept some of her own clothes here now—she really did spend the night here more often than not—but she usually chose to wear his clothes to bed, or when the two of them were lounging around on a weekend. Josh certainly wasn't going to complain; wasn't it every guy's dream to see their hot girlfriend in their clothes?

"Wow, am I lucky or what?" Josh leered as she made her way over to the bathroom.

"And don't you forget it," she winked over her shoulder, before closing the door behind her.

Josh waited his turn for the bathroom and turned out the light when they were both done. He crawled into bed next to her and immediately she molded her body to his, as he instinctively wrapped his arms around her, finally allowing himself to relax now that the day was over.

"Josh?" Donna asked softly.

"Hmm?"

"You know I love you right? Like you know that?"

"Of course I know that, I was just being, I dunno, weird," he whispered back.

"Good. Because I do love you, a lot, and I hate the thought of you even doubting that for a second. There's no one else in the world I want to be with."

"What, not even charming, handsome British royalty?"

" _Josh!_ "

"Donna, I promise, it was just a today thing," Josh assured her, bringing a hand up to lightly brush across her cheek. "I always know how you feel about me, because you never let me forget it. You're so good to me, baby, and I don't know what I would do without you."

"Probably forget how to turn on your computer," she commented sleepily, and Josh breathed out a laugh.

"Yeah, probably," he agreed. "I love you too, even when I'm being dumb. Especially when I'm being dumb."

"I love you when you're being dumb too."

"Yeah, you would," Josh smiled, holding her as close as physically possible. He closed his eyes, allowing his world to narrow to only the two of them, lying there in his bed. The way the world should always be, in Josh's opinion. No annoying Brits or international disasters or gunshot wounds or white nationalist groups or people telling them the way things should be. _This_ was the way things should be. Josh and Donna. Everything else would work itself out.


End file.
